Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Map & Field Guide into the Heart of the Butchers Daughter.

I described this book to some of my soul sisters.

It is a book that I've been working on through my greiving process.

As I wrote in my previous entry I've been dealing with the loss of my Father.

This is a picture of him when he was a toddler.

I devoted this book to my emotion.
I poured my heart into it, I cried and sobbed over every entry.
Losing a parent sucks.
Best description for that.

Now Imagine....

My Dad was diagnosed the day
before my son Dylan was born.

As cells of a new little
life were forming.

Evil Cells of Cancer inside of my father were forming as well.

I am now working through excepting this.

On my Fathers Birthday he found out that his body was riddled with Cancer.

The following Day he was supposed to retire. He was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer 3-6 months to live.

It's uncanny how this picture of Dad looks like Dylan.

The one thing I hold near and dear
is an amazing gift I inherited from my Dad. My beautiful Green eyes.

Sorry this is a bit dark. A lot of deep emotion went into it.
As well, each page has ink mixed with tears.
I mean that quite literally.

Most books have a color or an image that is repeated. This is a much more eclectic book. It is more just a raw outpouring of emotion. A place to house those feelings that I could not hold inside of myself. A place of safe haven to come back to and witness what I went through. I figured this was a good was to process what I was going through.


Ingrid Dijkers said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your Father. I lost my Father just over a year ago and also made an Altered book/Journal. I was very touched by your book and thought perhaps you would like to see mine.

I wish I could say something to ease your pain at this time.

By the way I absolutely LOVE your doodles.

Purrplekatt said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. My parents are have been struggling with health issues for years and it's so hard for us kids to watch. It makes us feel helpless. I can only start to imagine how you feel.

On a lighter note: I love the pages on your blog. I'm going to bookmark you because I love looking at this for inspriation when I need it. Thank you so much for sharing.

Found through the Soul Journal Yahoo group.

Jane B. said...

I am also so sorry to read of your loss - but am glad you are channeling it in a healthy and safe manner through your art. Your work is beautiful and very heartfelt. Thank you for opening up your heart in this way.
(from one of your Soul Journal sisters)